On June 4th we hope you have no other plans, but to attend the NextGen Conference, now in its second edition! We are waiting for you at the Ramada Hotel to get to know our speakers more closely. Otilia Mantelers is one of them. Otilia is a psychologist, coordinator of Hand in Hand Parenting Romania and mother of three children, first of all. She is entitled, perhaps more than any other person, to talk to us about parenting – a concept so overused it seems worn out. We say entitld, because she is a mother and a psychologist.
Below we invite you to read the interview with her, which we hope will convince you to join us at the conference on June 4th. More details about the conference can be found here.
What is self-confidence to you? Do you think there is a difference between self-esteem and self-confidence?
For me, self-confidence refers to the fact that I know and use my mental, physical and emotional competencies as a result of two factors. First, the fact that I have a mentor (for children, the first mentors are parents, then a teacher) who sees me, guides me, supports me, and believes in me. The second factor is that I have experience with exercising my own powers. I know myself as a result of having practiced these skills.
How can we help our children become self-confident? How important is self-confidence in living a balanced and meaningful life?
Our child is more self-confident when we believe in him a lot, and this we manifest and show him verbally and non-verbally. The basic idea in which I believe and which I will detail during the NextGen Conference in Oradea is that we, the parents, are mirrors for our children. In other words, the way we look at them becomes the mirror through which they look at themselves. That’s why we need to clean our own mirror, to reflect the most beautiful image to our children.
We often hear the phrase “healthy self-esteem.” How can we help our child to have a “healthy” self-esteem, to accept himself “with good and bad”, to have a balanced view of his own qualities and defects?
To help our children have healthy self-esteem we need us to like ourselves, for the most part, with good and bad. Children need us to love them through thick and thin and not stress over every misstep they make. Let’s not stiffen when our children do not conform to the list of healthy qualities that we have prepared for them. If we don’t like them, their chance to like themselves and have healthy self-esteem is to meet a mentor or get psychotherapy when they’re older.
Any other thoughts for us?
I am happy for the organization of the NextGen Conference, for the speakers you have invited to speak about this very important topic, self-confidence, which is one of the most important ingredients for a good life. I am also happy to see the audience from Oradea again, to whom I feel very close, and thank you for the invitation to this important conference!